[13 || backdated to 11/08; voicepost]

[sweetdeath]

...I don't know why I keep thinking about it today. It's been a long, long time.

It took a long time, too. But I remember all of it. I don't think anyone there realized that I knew what was happening, even when I couldn't move. If I hadn't, I wouldn't have known where to find sharp things when I had those lucid moments. But even then -

I just wish I knew how to get the scars to fade. That I didn't have to hide them with my watch. That I could stop remembering why.

I...

I don't know why I want to talk about this today. [unsteady laughter] It's probably a curse, isn't it? Yeah. I...

Sorry.

Comments

[cinnagami.livejournal.com]

...Takiko?

S-sorry. Don't mind me today.

[baixin.livejournal.com]

...

Please don't apologize to me. It wasn't your fault.

[cinnagami.livejournal.com]

[shaky laughter][

Just that I shouldn't be... making people listen to that. I thought about screening it, but I couldn't quite... I don't know. It's probably a curse.

[baixin.livejournal.com]

It's a curse.

[Silence for a moment.]

This is probably a bit redundant to ask, but--are you going to be all right?

[cinnagami.livejournal.com]

Just as fine as ever. Don't worry about me.

[baixin.livejournal.com]

...This time I'm going to say it; you're lying to me, aren't you?

Please don't.

[cinnagami.livejournal.com]

It's true. Well, mostly.

Having to think about the way I died isn't as bad as it could be.

[baixin.livejournal.com]

...

As long as you're sure.

[private~]

[cinnagami.livejournal.com]

I... yeah. Thanks, though. I appreciate it. Really.

I still don't know if it was the right thing to do, but it was more right than anything else I did for a long time.

[private~]

[baixin.livejournal.com]

...Sure.

[She is awkward, and doesn't know what else to say.]

[private~]

[cinnagami.livejournal.com]

...I'm really not fit for company today, I guess.

It'll wear off by tomorrow. Want to get lunch or something?

[private~]

[baixin.livejournal.com]

I'm just really worried for you...

...I'd like that. It's a bit lonely.

Re: [private~]

[cinnagami.livejournal.com]

Believe me, this isn't any worse than normal. Much.

Okay. I found this great café the other day - you like cake, right? Who doesn't like cake?

[private~]

[baixin.livejournal.com]

It's like this every day for you? ...

I'm not sure--but I'd like to try it.

Re: [private~]

[cinnagami.livejournal.com]

You stop noticing so much after the first couple decades.

Meet you by the fountain around noon, then.

[private~]

[baixin.livejournal.com]

...That's a long time though.

That sounds nice, thank you.

[private~]

[cinnagami.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I know.